


Toilet Paper Troubles

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: But just a little, Constipation, Diarrhea, Embarrassment, Farting, Food Poisoning, He Helps Him Anyway, Intern Peter Parker, It's cute interactions tho, It's innocent, It's not like that I swear., Non-Sexual, One Shot Collection, Peter is a Little Bit Anxious, Platonic Relationships, Scat, Sick Peter Parker, Sort Of, The tags make this story look bad..., There is no actual scat just... Peter needing to poop, Tony Just Wants His Boy to be Comfortable, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark saves the day, Urination, Vomiting, i guess, just give it a chance, no gross stuff, very platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22670338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Peter prefers to poop in private.  As in, a public bathroom just will not due. Not for that anyway.  He can pee in a public bathroom no problem but apparently he's 'poop shy'.He thought he had it all figured out, his daily routines were working out just fine...and then he started the Stark Internship.  Suddenly he's spending a lot of time with Tony and, well, thank goodness his new mentor is understanding and willing to help him out without giving him *too much* of a hard time.**Each chapter will be a one and done story based in the same universe.**
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 40
Kudos: 148
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	1. No Toilet Paper

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to make this multichapter so I didn't have to set it all up each time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no toilet paper in the lab bathroom and Peter can't find anymore. Eventually has to suck it up and admit to his literal hero, that he needs to poop.

Peter Parker had a routine. That wasn't unusual in the least. Everyone had a routine, really. Even if they didn't realize it. Peter's routine was simple. Get up, go to school, go home, poop in the privacy of his own bathroom and then go out and patrol for as long as he could without getting himself into trouble. However, his routine got shaken up just a little bit when he started his 'real internship'. On those day's he was meant to head straight to Stark Industries building right after school, via Happy's backseat. 

But on his first day in Tony's personal lab he was ecstatic to find out that the man had a single-use bathroom attached to his workspace. With permission granted he hurridly disappeared behind the door, coming out several minutes later feeling much more focused. Thus his Tuesday and Friday routine was born. Get up, go to school, ride to the tower, allow Tony to explain the day's project and then excuse himself to the bathroom.

That routine was working well. So well that it became predictable even Tony had the routine figured out. To the point that he would give the daily run down followed by saying something along the lines of 'I'll get you all set up once you get back from the bathroom.' Of course, with things going so, well, smoothly, it wasn't exactly surprising when one Friday afternoon Peter hit a snag in his daily habits.

________________________

"Hey, Mr. Stark.", Peter said as he walked into the lab on Friday afternoon. "What are we going to be working on today?", he asked hoping for a quick explanation. There had been traffic on the way there and he was more than ready to head into the bathroom in more ways one. His bladder was screaming and his lower abdomen was cramping. Part of him wanted to skip the entire run down and go straight to the toilet.

Tony rolled his eyes as he watched the boy shifting from foot to foot in an anxious manner and knew exactly what the problem was. "Just go to the bathroom. I can' talk to you when you're done."

It took no prompting to get Peter to dart across the large room and into the bathroom. But the second he got in there he noticed a huge problem. The toilet paper roll was completely empty. There wasn't a single square attached to the cardboard cylinder that typically sat on the counter beside the toilet. After crossing his legs for a moment, he took a quick peek under the cabinets and in the small linen closet. When the effort yielded nothing, he hobbled over to the toilet to empty his bladder before it came spilling out onto the floor.

Once he had that part of his body at ease, he was able to look around a bit more but there didn't seem to be any rolls stored anywhere. Eventually, he gave up, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. "Sorry, Mr. Stark.", he said with an ever so slightly sheepish grin, "... but I really had to pee.", he added, having already decided that he wasn't going to ask the man about the toilet paper. The last thing he wanted was for the man to realize that he took a dump in the lab bathroom every single time he came over. He wasn't even sure why that was embarrassing but for some reason it was.

Tony once again rolled his eyes as he went into a thorough explanation of what they would be doing and started to set up the work station with the appropriate tools. After while Peter was left to work on his own and that when things really started to get worse. The pressure in his abdomen had increased and passing gas had become inevitable as his body tried to demand he follow through with what he'd set out to do in the bathroom earlier. Worse yet, he needed to pee again and he wasn't sure he could walk in and out of the bathroom again without emptying himself completely. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Tony calling him over to see what he had just finished and Peter panicked a little. He didn't think there was any way for him to stand beside the man without him smelling the gas that kept slipping past his backside. A look at the clock said that there were still two hours left until he was meant to go home and that sealed it. He was going to have to basically tell his literal idol that he needed to poop.

"What's up with you, kid?", Tony asked when Peter had slowly made his way over to him. "Usually you're excited to see what I've done. Am I boring to you now? The fanboy-ness has worn off?"

"No.", Peter replied with a shake of his head. "You're still the best, I promise. I just..."

"Just what?", Tony probed when Peter's words trailed off.

"Well... There's no toilet paper.", Peter grumbled under his breath.

Tony laughed lightly and walked across the room towards the large supply closet to find another roll. It only took him about three seconds to realize there wasn't anymore in there. Usually, there was a giant stack but apparently, he'd taken out the last roll and not ordered anymore. "You're right. There's not any. I'll have to get some. In the meantime, if you need to go, you can use the bathrooms on the floor below.", Tony said as he walked towards Peter who had been anxiously waiting to be handed a brand new roll.

"Maybe I'll just go grab some and bring it back up here.", Peter said as he tapped his foot on the floor in a nervous rhythm. They had been down to that floor regularly during his visits. It held the employee lounge and cafeteria. Those bathrooms were not private and while peeing in a public bathroom was no big deal he hated the idea of pooping where anyone could hear him. He hated it so much that he was willing to sound crazy by saying he would carry a roll back up so that he could use the preferred toilet.

"Kid... you--", Tony started before he realized what the problem was. "Never mind, come on."

"Where are we going?", Peter asked with some urgency to his tone. He really needed to go and he couldn't go there. Well, he probably could, he just didn't want to.

"Up to my penthouse.", Tony said and when Peter looked even more nervous he sighed. "I figured we could eat dinner there tonight and you could use the bathroom."

Unable to do anything else, Peter nodded his head and followed the man to the elevator. Then the moment the doors closed he could feel the gas in his abdomen forcing its way out and no amount of squeezing his cheeks could stop it. It came trumpeting out of his backside in one long note. "Oh my God... I am so sorry, Mr. Stark.", he said as his face absolutely burned.

"You're fine. Don't worry about it, kid.", Tony replied, trying his hardest not to laugh at the poor kid's reaction. "Passing gas is normal. Everybody does it.", he added with a smirk but Peter didn't seem to see the humor. If anything his ears got a little redder. The moment the private elevator came to a stop Tony pointed Peter towards the hall bathroom where he darted in, quickly yanked his pants down and dropped onto the toilet in one fluid motion.

While Peter was taking care of his urgent business Tony was in the kitchen getting ready to order their usual Friday night pizza while still chuckling under his breath at the kid's adamancy that he needed a private place to shit. He didn't mind helping him out though. He'd been meaning to invite the kid up to his actual home for a while and decided that this was his chance. 

Then Pepper walked in. "What are you doing up here? I thought you were with Peter tonight?"

"Oh, I am. He's here.", Tony said and when Pepper started looking around for him he laughed. "He's in the bathroom. The poor kid needed to drop a duce and the lab bathroom was out of toilet paper. I'm pretty sure he'd been holding it for hours when he finally decided to ask me if there was any more but there wasn't. Then I find out that he can't shit in a public bathroom so I brought him up here... and you can not tell him I told you any of that. I swear if his face gets any redder his head is going to explode."

"I wouldn't dare.", Pepper said with a smile as Peter came back from down the hall.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark and I'm still really sorry--", he started before cutting himself off at the appearance of one Pepper Potts. "Ms. Potts!"

"Hello, Peter it's nice to finally meet you. Tony had told me so much about you.", Pepper said kindly as she held out her hand for the enamored teenager to shake.

"It's uh, it's nice to meet you too.", Peter said as he looked towards Tony for any kind of support. He was not expecting to meet the CEO of the company directly after taking an emergency crap in Tony's guest bathroom.

Feeling, kind and generous at the moment, Tony smiled at the boy and gestured towards his girlfriend. "I invited her up to eat dinner with us tonight. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's great.", Peter replied, thankful that it didn't seem like his predicament had been given away.

And from that day forward Tony had the teenager meet him in the penthouse before they got to work because with Pepper living with him, there was never a lack of toilet paper in any of the bathrooms. Peter was grateful.
    
    
      
    
    


	2. Constipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets himself constipated before going on a road trip with Tony. He needs some help to get things, you know, going and, surprise, Tony is actually cool about it.

During Summer break, Peter learned three things. The first thing he learned was that drastically changing your diet basically overnight led to _gastrointestinal issues._ The second thing he learned was that subsequently taking going on a road trip only seemed to exacerbate said issues. The third and final thing that he learned was that telling Tony about his back up digestive system wasn't as traumatizing as he would have expected it to be. 

You see May worked weird hours. For several days a week, she worked a twelve-hour shift that left Peter basically fending for himself for both lunch and dinner. That meant that once school was out, he went from eating a balanced lunch at school to eating Ramen, Kraft Dinner, and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch followed by basically the same thing for dinner, four nights a week. Tuesday through Friday. Not that there weren't healthier options. For her part, May had stocked the kitchen with frozen vegetables, whole wheat pasta and an assortment of fruits but Peter was a fifteen-year-old boy with no supervision. Therefore he didn't touch any of those things during the four days leading up to the road trip with Tony. 

_____________________

By day three of summer vacation, Peter had already realized the disruption in his routines because, after a couple of days of regularly scheduled visits to his own bathroom to poop in the afternoons, things became a little more difficult. He found himself having to put forth a bit of effort to get things moving but he did go, so wasn't the least bit concerned about it. However, the next day things seemed to have escalated because he went into the bathroom feeling like he needed to take the biggest dump of his life but even after sitting on the toilet for upwards to ten minutes he'd not managed to produce as much as he felt like he should have. Shrugging his shoulders he made a point of drinking an extra glass of water with dinner and didn't really give it any more thought until the next day in the car.

Peter's abdomen had been bothering him since he'd gotten up. Nothing major, it was just sort of... sore. He tried in vain that morning to take the previous day's crap before they left but no dice. Now, four hours of driving later, he needed to pee but more so, he really wanted to try again to take that elusive poop. Not because it was cramping or because it hurt, so much as it was just _uncomfortable_ and he really did need to pee. "Hey, Mr. Stark?", he asked in an attempt to break the attention his mentor had on the road. "I need to use the bathroom, please."

"Me too, kiddo.", Tony said with a smile before turning over the question that had been going through his head for the last ten minutes or so. "Which had me thinking that we might want to stop for lunch. So, I guess my question is: Do you want to just go straight to Burger King or something or do you want to stop at the rest stop up here and then go eat. The rest stop should have a family restroom."

The question sounded casual but it made Peter blush all the same. To anyone else, it probably sounded like the man was asking him how badly he needed to pee but he knew better. The actual question being implied there was, _'Do you need to take a dump?_ '. "Rest stop please.", he replied with a heavy sigh, completely realizing what he'd just admitted and even though it was sort of mortifying to know that _Iron Man_ was so well aware of his bathroom habits he was also grateful. Especially since his intestines seemed to be 'off-schedule'.

Tony pulled into the parking lot of the requested break location and walked towards the Men's room, while Peter went into the privacy of the family restroom beside it where he sat on the toilet as long as he felt like he could get away with before it started to look suspicious. Again, he wasn't able to do enough to make a difference in the heaviness in his lower abdomen but he'd done _something_ so he sighed, flushed and washed his hands.

"You good, kid?", Tony asked when Peter rejoined him in the car.

"Yeah. Just hungry.", Peter half-lied. He wasn't good. His stomach was starting to ache but he was hungry. Tony nodded his head and off they went to eat a lunch that wasn't going to help the situation any. 

Later that evening they were in the hotel and Peter excused himself to once again try and use the restroom. He sat there and tried to bear down. That led to him loudly passing gas which made him unexpectedly freeze up as his brain unhelpfully reminded him that Tony was in a bed right outside the door and could hear everything he was doing. With a sigh, he got up and washed his hands.

It wasn't until the next day that when they were at the conference that Peter really started to worry. As he sat on the toilet in one of the few single-stall restrooms he realized that it had been _days_ since he'd taken a proper shit. It was starting to move from uncomfortable to painful and he knew he was going to have to ask for help. He had no idea how to rectify the situation without adult intervention. He needed a grownup. 

His first thought was to call his aunt and hurriedly explain his problem so that she could tell him what to do. Then it occurred to him that she would just have to call Tony so that he could get him whatever he needed to make things go back to normal. Then not only would _two people_ know he was having difficulties in the bathroom department but that those two people would then have an in-depth conversation about it, probably behind his back and that was unacceptable. He was going to have to tell Tony himself. Cut out the middleman. 

Later in the evening as the two of them stood in the emptying conference room, packing up their things, Peter decided that it was now or never and took a deep breath. "Hey, um, Mr. Stark", he said as he looked around the room at the handful of people who were still there cleaning up the stage. "I, I need some help.", he admitted with a blush and an annoying mist in his eyes. 

"Are you okay?", Tony asked because, to be honest, he'd been a little worried about the kid. He hadn't been himself since he picked him up and now he looked on the verge of tears.

"No. I mean, maybe. I just... I just can't, you know... go-to-the-bathroom.", he said running the last few words together making them nearly impossible to understand but Tony seemed to get the message.

"I was going to take us out to dinner but do we need to stop by the hotel first?", Tony asked assuming that maybe the kid just preferred the idea of taking a shit there versus at the conference hall.

Peter zipped up his backpack and grunted in frustration. "No. That won't help. I... It's not the place, I mean it is but that's not the problem. I just... _I can't go_.", he said while reaching up to wipe at the tear that had tried to escape his left eye.

"You're constipated.", Tony replied so matter-of-factly that Peter couldn't decide if that made the situation better or worse. Either way, his face burned with shame and Tony was quick to notice. "Hey, no big deal. I'll give your aunt a call and we'll get some medicine on the way to the hotel"

"Please don't call aunt May.", Peter pathetically replied.

Having already received an earful for keeping the kid's secret identity a secret from his legal guardian, Tony hesitated. It seemed reasonable to call and talk to her about any kind of medical issue that might be taking place. Peter was a minor and he had no real jurisdiction over him. "Has this happened before?", he asked with a sigh.

"No.", Peter replied sounding slightly teary and that was enough to get Tony to agree not to call his aunt, so long as they got it under control. They both agreed that if he didn't shit in the next twenty-four hours that May would have to be brought into the equation. 

Once they were back at the hotel Tony pulled a box out of a pharmacy bag and tore it open. "Alright, take one. If that doesn't help you can take one more in half an hour. This _should_ help with the immediate problem.", he said as he dropped the small round pill into the teenager's outstretched hand. "We should probably talk to aunt though so that she can help you figure out what caused it, though.", he tried to say casually but the kid just glared at him.

"No. Talking to one person about it is bad enough. I don't want to tell her too. _Please._ ", Peter begged and could see the exact moment his mentor gave in by his eyes alone. If that didn't say how much time they had been spending together then he didn't know what did. Except maybe that he was will to talk about his pooping habits with him. That was probably telling all in of its self. 

"Do you promise to tell me if it continues to be a problem?", Tony asked, his lips forming a thin straight line. Peter nodded enthusiastically and he nodded back. "Alright, then."

Peter took the pill and they sat around watching television for a while. He ended up taking a second pill and that seemed to do the trick because his body began to insistently nudge him towards the bathroom. But at the same time, his brain was still nagging him about Tony being able to hear him taking a crap through the door. "Can you... I mean--", he stuttered as he looked longingly towards the bathroom door.

"Need me to step out of the room?", Tony asked, looking over at him with a smirk clearly plastered over his face. He'd not really taken into account that his proximity to the bathroom would be a problem. He'd just assumed it was all a privacy thing, the kid wanting to take a shit without anyone else in the room with him. It was starting to become more evident that there were more 'rules' involved than he'd thought. 

"Please.", Peter replied with his head hung low.

Tony grabbed his phone off the bedside table and laughed. "Stop looking so miserable. It's not a big deal.", he said before stepping out, returning a good twenty minutes later to find his mentee laying on his bed looking much more comfortable. 

"Did you go?", he asked because he was the mature, responsible adult there and he needed to know. Peter nodded his head into his pillow, avoiding his eyes. "Enough to feel better?", he inquired for clarification.

"This is the worst conversation ever.", Peter grumbled into his pillow.

Tony laughed again and crossed the room to pat the flustered teenager's back. "Still need an answer, kiddo."

"Yes, okay.", Peter nearly snapped. Tony chose to ignore the tone. 

"I did some research while I was being banished into the halls.", Tony teased as he sat down on the edge of his bed facing Peter's. "The number one culprit in these situations is an unhealthy diet, followed by lack of exercise, which _I know_ isn't the problem and _ignoring the natural urge_.", he said, emphasizing the latter with humor. He didn't even know why. There was just something funny about that sentence. So much for being mature. He was still responsible though, so he continued his line of questioning. "Have you been going, you know, _regularly_ when you feel like you need to?"

"Yes. Well, trying anyway.", Peter grumbled as his face grew impossibly redder. "I hate this conversation."

Skating past the kid's last comment, Tony moved on. "What about your diet? Anything changed there because if not we start moving into 'stress' and 'IBS' Symptoms.", he said seriously. If they ended up in either of those things he would have no choice but to tell May and probably Cho too because those things could potentially require medical intervention. 

Glaring up from his pillow, Peter brought his eyebrows together. "I'm currently stressed by this conversation, Mr. Stark."

"Diet, kid. Focus.", Tony replied with a roll of his eyes and a snap of his fingers.

"I mean I guess it's changed. I'm not a school and May's been working so...", Peter began, only going into detail when his mentor continued to look at him with an eyebrow quirked. "I've been eating a lot of Kraft Mac and pizza rolls."

"So this is a lack of fiber issue.", Tony directly noted. That made sense. The kid typically ate five out of seven lunches at school and he assumed those came with mandatory roughage and whole grains. Things that cheap pasta and frozen snack bites distinctly lacked.

"I--", Peter said before realizing that that made sense and gave in with a groan. "Maybe."

"We can work with that.", Tony said with a smile as he stood up and grabbed his wallet and keys from the dresser. " Get your shoes on. Salad for dinner tonight and we'll make sure you get something other than french fries as a vegetable with lunch tomorrow.", he said jokingly but he meant it. He'd not been exactly helping the problem by feeding the kid fast food and ignoring his lack of healthy choices at breakfast. Though he self-soothed by telling himself that he'd had no idea that there had been a problem, to begin with.

"Salad?", Peter questioned with a childish whine. He didn't _hate_ salad... or fruits and vegetables, he just wasn't used to his mentor pushing them on him. That was usually May's job. ...and the school, kind of, since they made him choose two 'healthy sides'. If he wasn't starving by lunch (Thanks spidey metabolism) he would probably skip them there too. 

"Yes, salad. Now get ready to go. I know a place.", Tony replied with a roll of his eyes. For a kid that hadn't taken a decent shit in days, he was being awfully difficult about doing something to correct the problem. 

When they ended up at some super healthy organic salad place, Peter rolled his eyes and sulked his way into the building but he next day when he was able to poop without an issue, after kicking Tony into the hallway, of course, he was no longer upset about it. And if he requested to eat there again the following night it was only because they had really good avocado ranch dressing. At least that's what he told Tony and then laughed when the man bought him a bottle of it to take home with him. 

"You no longer have any excuses, kid. Eat your damn vegetables."


	3. So Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter feels off when he gets up in the morning but it's not until the end of his second class of the day that he realizes that he sick. Like, diarrhea sick and the school doesn't have an appropriate bathroom for that. He needs to go home and he needs to go home now. May doesn't answer her phone so he just prays that Tony does.

Peter woke up feeling off but not bad. He felt sort of sore and lethargic but at the same time, he'd stayed out way past his curfew the night before so it was easy enough to chalk it all up to exhaustion. Therefore, he dragged himself into the shower and out to the kitchen to eat breakfast. May was already sitting there, dressed for work with a travel mug of coffee in her hands. "Don't forget that I have meetings all day, so I may not be here when you get home. Schoolwork first. Yes?", she said to him as she picked up her keys and he agreed without making any promises and then she was out the door.

By the time he got to school he was starting to question the level of exhaustion he was feeling. It was like he couldn't keep his eyes open and he ended up getting called on three times in his first class for laying his head down. That questioning turned to concern when his abdomen started bubbling during his second class. It wasn't the hungry grumble he was used to. It was a gurgling, whine that was accompanied by a few sharp twinges. He tried to ignore it. It was gas, he told himself. Except the longer he sat there the worse it became. 

The periodic twinges became nearly constant and nausea was starting to take over. As he was packing up his things and considering if he could go to the nurse and get some crackers or clear soda or something, he was hit with an urgent need to shit. The pressure was almost overwhelming enough to make him want to use the school bathroom but he couldn't bring himself to do that on a regular day, let alone while he was sick. Having people hear that would be undeniably worse. He looked up and down the halls, a sweat building on his brow. The longer he stood there trying to fight back the inevitable the more awful he felt. It was as though he were burning up and ice-cold at the same time. God, he wanted to go home so up to the office he trekked.

"I need to call my Aunt, I'm sick.", he told the nurse while trying to swallow back the panic he was feeling. He really, really did not want to shit himself.

Once he was handed the phone he dialed May's number not once but four times and she didn't answer. The only other person he could call was Tony. He wasn't even sure if the school would let him that him home but he needed to try because he was dying, he was sure of it. He plugged the number into the phone and waited. Two and a half rings later he heard Tony answer.

"I need to you come to get me from school it's an emergency.", Peter not realizing how those words would upset his mentor.

"What kind of emergency? Are you safe? Where's May?", Tony asked with concern. He knew the kid was at school and shouldn't he be safe at school? He sounded panicked and that was making him panic.

Peter swallowed a few times and wiped his brow with the bottom of his shirt. "I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine. I'm, I'm sick and I just _really, really_ need to go home. As quickly as possible, please.", he said and hoped that the man got the message because the nurse was standing right there and he didn't want to say it. 

Knowing exactly what the kid was trying to tell him, Tony sighed. This whole, not being able to poop in public thing was something they really needed to work on. "Oh, kid. Let me see what I can do.", he said because he was nearly sure that even as Tony Stark, he couldn't walk into a high school and walk out with a random kid. 

As it turned out, hacking into the school's systems and adding himself to the kids emergency contact list was a piece of cake and he was able to get to the school in thirty minutes' time. He just hoped the kid hadn't hurt himself in the process. He walked in the school to find the teenager miserably waiting for him in an armchair by the door with a can of soda in his had. He signed the parent log and walked Peter to his car. "Well, that was painless. Lucky for you, getting into your school records is like picking a playdough lock.", he said, not really in any sort of a rush. They weren't that far from the tower and that's where he planned on taking the kid. That way the kid could drop a duce and then come help him in the lab.

"Can we just go, please? I need to go.", Peter said when Tony didn't seem to be going fast enough. He could feel diarrhea trying to squeeze it's way out and his stomach was rolling as a result. He needed to get it out. It hurt. 

"I know you do, Buddy.", Tony said as he started the car but not before he reached over to pat the boy on his warm shoulder. "You feel hot, Buddy. Are you really sick? That wasn't an excuse?", he asked suddenly feeling a little anxious. He's thought the whole 'I'm sick' thing had been a rouse to get out of school and back to his own bathroom before the end of the day.

"No, my stomach hurts and I _need to get home_.", Peter pressed as he leaned back and tried not to whine.

Tony sighed and sped up a little. "I'm going to take you to the tower with me. It's closer.", he said softly. He hadn't really noticed before but the kid was pale, sweaty and shivering.

Only about three minutes passed before Peter couldn't take it anymore. "Can you stop at that gas station on the corner of 29th and Russel Street?", he asked because he was suddenly feeling dangerously close to losing control of his bowels and not only would that be disgusting but he would be mortified. He'd never be able to look Tony in the eye again.

"I can... That's... that place works for you?", Tony asked with concern. Though he assumed that it was or the kid wouldn't have asked... it was either that or things were getting far worse than he thought. If the kid was going to resort to taking a crap of that nature in even a semi-public bathroom it was bad.... and the next words out of the kid mouth proved that he was right.

"Mhm. I mean I would rather go home but I can't hold it anymore.", Peter whispered with a blush because he couldn't. There was no way.

The second Tony came to a stop, Peter ran inside and was thankful that there was no one in the single, genderless bathroom. He was able to go straight in and sit on the toilet where he stayed for what felt like forever but it was like the cramping wouldn't stop. It felt like something was inside of him trying to slaw it's way out. After while he decided that the urgency had passed and that he could comfortably clean up and go back to the car but not before washing his hands and splashing some water on his sweaty face. "I don't feel good.", he said the moment he got back into the car.

"I know, kiddo. Let's get you to a bed.", Tony returned and as soon as they got to the penthouse he was ushing Peter into one of the upstairs guestrooms. "I'm going to grab you some joggers and try to find a thermometer. Be right back.", he said once he had Peter sitting on the edge of the bed.

By the time Tony got back, Peter had kicked his shoes off but he was no longer in the bed. He saw the light shining under the bathroom door and realized that he was in there, sighed and sat back at the edge of the bed to wait for the kid to return. When he did he looked impossibly paler and too sick to care that Tony had been sitting in the bedroom while he was using the toilet. 

"You throw up?", Tony asked out of curiosity. He just wanted to get a feel for what he was dealing with.

"No. The other end and it hurts.", Peter said and took the joggers into the bathroom to change. When he returned he was surprised to see that Tony was still there. 

The man slipped a thermometer into his mouth and clucked his tongue at the reading. "100.8, You're definitely sick. Why don't you try to sleep it off, Bud.", Tony suggested and Peter was sure that was a great idea. All the way up until he woke up to an extremely painful cramp and an unbearable pressure at his backside. 

He jumped up out of the bed but as he did that, his abdomen protested his position and he could feel the crap seeping out as he ran across the room. He managed to get on the toilet in time but there was a small stain in his underwear that made him want to cry. He couldn't put them back on so when the pain died down and he was no longer able to produce anything of substance, he slipped them off and set them to the side. 

Tony had heard the kid run across the room from where he happened to be walking past with the intention of asking the kid if he needed anything. Though, he didn't hear ay retching when he walked in. Just a lot of gas mostly and considered leaving but before he could the door opened up and Peter came and sat down beside him, slumping into his side. 

"I messed up my underwear.", Peter said matter-of-factly. As much as he knew he should be embarrassed he wasn't. He just wanted to be comfortable so he could go back to bed and he knew Tony could do that for him. At the same time, he didn't want to be a pain in the ass so he made sure to tack on an apology. "I'm sorry."

"Not a problem.", Tony said with a small smile, choosing not to ask what had happened to the others. He was smart enough to surmise and was just happy that the kid was comfortable enough to tell him. "I have a pack in my room that I've never opened. They might be a bit big on you but I can bring you those if you want.", he suggested and Peter nodded his head. "I'll go get those."

Once Peter was changed, Tony had him put his dirty ones in the laundry chute and told him that he was going to fun to the store for some anti-diarrheal medicine. That seemed to help because after two doses the pain eased and he was no longer having to run to the bathroom. Feeling slightly better had him all of asuden remember that his aunt didn't know where he was. "I need to call aunt May!", he said.

"I already called her, Bud and I know you probably didn't want me to tell her what was wrong but seeing as I picked you up from school I kind of had to.", Tony said.

"That's fine.", Peter replied as he flopped back down into the soft bed. "I mean at least I didn't have to hear you talk about it."

"well, she said you could stay here tonight and recommended the BRAT diet.", Tony said with a laugh. He had never heard of such things and thought the woman was calling her nephew a brat. It had been quite the conversation to find out that it meant, Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast. "It though she was calling names while you were sick."

Peter rolled his eyes and smiled weakly. He still felt achy and nauseous but thankfully he never actually threw up. "Thanks.", he said for lack of anything else to say.

"Wow, you're mot going to play with me? You really are sick.", Tony teased but he already knew how bad Peter felt. Between asking him to stop at the gas station and telling him without hesitation that he'd essentially crapped his pants... it was evident. Though he also wanted to think that the was just starting to be more open with him and really appreciated that. The boy was starting to feel like his own son. With that thought, he ran his fingers through the kid sweat curled hair and sighed. "I'm sorry you feel so bad, kiddo."

"S'okay.", Peter sleepily replied. The fever was really getting to him. "'M tired."

"Okay, I'll let you sleep then", Tony said with the intention of leaving the poor kid be but Peter reached up and limply grabbed his hand.

"Don't go, yet.", he said, smiling when Tony sat back down.

Tony rolled his eyes but smiled back. "Okay, I'll stay."

"Thanks.", Peter mumbled before closing his eyes so that he could go to sleep to the sound of his mentor's breathing.

"You're welcome.", Tony said and at the edge of the bed with the kid he had grow to care about so much and just as he was starting to think he might doze off himself, the kid's eyes flew open and he scrambled off the bed and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him... clearly it was time for more medicine.


	4. Bedpan Nope

Peter had been bedridden in Avenger's medical bay for three days. Three very long days because he wasn't allowed to get up, not even to pee. Whenever his bladder was full enough to put the shame aside, he would request the medical urinal and some privacy so that he could relieve himself right there in the bed, the worst part being the hand-off when it was over. Passing a nurse a jug full of his fresh hot pee was somewhat humiliating, though not nearly as humiliating as what else they wanted him to do.

Dr. Banner had confronted him about not using the bedpan the day previous. "Peter, I know it's uncomfortable but you're going to be here for few more days, you have to have a bowel movement at some point.", he'd said made Peter want to vomit at the idea. He was not going to poop in a bowl in his bed. He could hold it for an entire week if he had too. What Peter didn't know was that while he was in his medical room thinking about how he was going to survive not taking the shit that was begging to be taken Dr. Banner was discussing his pooping habits with May and Tony. 

"-If he doesn't go in the next twelve hours we're going to have to start him on some laxatives to encourage it.", Dr. Banner said making both May and Tony cringe.

"Bruce.", Tony said with a sigh. "I'm not sure you understand how hard this is for him. This is probably like his worst nightmare. He won't take a dump in the school bathroom I can't imagine him taking one in his bed." he concluded, not realizing that May was unaware of how aware he was of her nephew's bathroom habits.

After Bruce explained how it couldn't be helped and that it wasn't healthy for Peter to go so long without passing stool, he walked away leaving May and Tony alone in the waiting room. "So you know about all of that?", May asked with an eyebrow raised.

Tony sighed. "Yep. Figured it out pretty quickly actually. He near about shit his pants one day because there was no toilet paper in the lab bathroom and flat out refused to use the public ones that were just a floor away. That's why we meet up in the penthouse now. I mean that and I wanted to invite him over. He's a good kid. Quirky... but good."

"So, that's why he wasn't worried about going on that road trip with you," May said with sudden understanding. She'd asked Peter over and over how he was going to survive that trip if he wasn't going to be willing to poop in a public bathroom.

"Oh," Tony replied with a laugh. "No, we had sort of a system going by then. When he tells me he needs to use the bathroom I give him choices. Then he can tell me without telling me what he needs."

May smiled and nodded her head. She was glad that Peter had decided he was comfortable enough with Tony to be able to do things with him and not have to worry about anything else. She knew he needed a man in his life and she was happy he'd found one. Now the two of them needed to work together to figure out what to do about their poop-shy teenager. "Maybe I should go talk to him. I have a few minutes before I have to go to work," she suggested but Tony just shrugged his shoulders.

"It's fine, May. I'll take care of it. You just go spend some time with him. I'll figure it out later."

That was how they left it. May went in to give Peter a hug and a kiss and then left for work. Once she was gone, Tony shut the door and sat down int he chair beside Peter's bed. "You know, Dr. Banner's pretty worried about you not shitting," he said matter-of-factly. He'd learned long ago that being blunt was the easiest than trying to keep up with the kids tiptoeing.

"I can't, Tony. It's gross.", Peter whined but he couldn't deny that he needed to go. He really really needed to go, his abdomen had been cramping for hours.

"Well, you can't not, go." Tony said and then sighed because what he needed to say next sounded like a threat and he didn't want it to be like that. It was just how it was going to be. "Kid, if you don't take a shit soon they're going to give you drugs to make you shit and I know you don't want that so we need to figure this out." he said feeling guilty when the boy's eyes when watery.

"Tony, I-", Peter started but Tony lay a hand on his shoulder and started talking over him.

"Listen, Buddy. Let's break this down. What's the worst part here, hmm? We'll see if we can't come to some sort of an arrangement or something.", Tony said with a small smile. He wasn't sure how much he could do but he really wanted his kid to be comfortable and not pooping just wasn't an option.

Peter thought about it for some time and while the entire process sounded more or less mortifying he was sure that having has his ass cleaned and his bowl of poop removed was the worst part. "Clean up." he mumbled under his breath, hoping Tony would catch his drift.

Having seen the kid's ears turn red every time he had to hand over the medical urinal, Tony wasn't overly surprised by the admission. In fact, he'd already figured out that the boy would try to hold it until he knew ether himself or May was around to be the ones to take it from him rather than a nurse. He rubbed his hand across his forehead and then held a hand out in suggestion. "What if May cleans you up and takes care of everything?", he suggested thinking that would solve it but Peter's eyes went as wide a dinner plates.

"Tony!", Peter unintentionally shouted. "I'm fifteen, I can't have May- She can't _see me,_ Tony. She's a girl!" Peter sputtered in disbelief. "That's worse than the nurse. I want to use the toilet."

"Toilet's not an option, kiddo. You're in that bed for three more days. Minimum.", Tony replied with remorse and the scrubbed his hands over his face before making the only other last0ditch idea he had. "What about me? You want me to do that part?", he asked, unsure of what he hoped the answer would be. He really didn't want to wipe the kid's ass but for some weird reason, he loved him and just wanted to help him. Jesus Christ when had he become the kid's dad?"

Peter contemplated it before turning his head towards the wall and nodding meekly. 

"Alright.", Tony said with more confidence than he felt. "You, uh, you... ready?", he asked, unsure of how to broach the subject of, 'do you need to shit now or what?' Again Peter nodded his head and Tony rested a hand on the pathetically sad-looking boy's cheek. "Okay, give me ten minutes to run this by Bruce and then we'll get you taken care of.", he said softly and then walked out of the room.

When Tony returned he had a bedpan, gloves, and flushable wet wipes in hand. Peter teared up at the sight and Tony was quick to hush him with gentle words. Then when Peter gave the okay he helped his kid get his boxers down and made sure he was comfortably seated on the bedpan before walking out of the room. Not wanting to add any pressure, Tony told the boy to text him when he was done and he would return to get it all cleaned up.

Once he was alone, Peter cried for a few minutes before even trying to poop. At first, it was difficult because it felt so wrong. Then it was hard because he'd been holding it for so long that he was somewhat constipated. In fact, the first bit that he passed actually hurt. Though, he took his time and made sure he'd finished before trying to clean himself up as had been suggested. When that didn't work out he growled in frustration and messaged Tony that he was done.

"Hey, Buddy. Were you able to go?", Tony asked gently as he walked back in. He already knew the answer. He could smell it but he didn't want Peter to know that so he waited for the boy to nod his head. "Good. Did you clean up?", he asked and when A tear slipped down Peter's cheek he hurried over to wipe it away. "No big deal, I've got it.", he said despite the fact that it was kind of a big deal. In order to clean him, he'd have to look and he'd been avoiding that.

After helping Peter roll onto his side so that he could move the bedpan, Tony began to quickly wipe the boy's rear end and get his underwear back up. Then he, without a word, walked into the adjoining restroom and dumped the contents and flushed it away. Part of him wanted to tell the kid that he'd done a good job. That he knew how hard that had been and that the was proud of him but he also knew those words wouldn't mean near as much to Peter as ignoring the entire indecent would. So that what he did. He removed his gloves, washed his hands and walked back out of the restroom smiling. "What to watch a movie?", he asked and was delighted when Peter smiled at him despite his still watery eyes.

"Yeah. That would be perfect.", Peter said and when Tony sat down beside him and ran his hand through his hair he sighed in contentment. 

They were halfway through Star Wars when Tony finally said something about the matter but he was quick about. "So, tomorrow, when you need to go send me a text. It can be just the number two if you want and I'll run everyone off so we can take care of it, alright?"

"Alright.", Peter agreed and then leaned back on his pillows blowing out a deep breath. "But um... right now? I really need to pee."

Tony barked a laugh and handed over the urinal before stepping out of the room long enough for the boy to relieve himself. He was just glad that his kid trusted him. 


	5. Food Poisoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony both get food poisoning and PEter gets caught a bit short... Tony is understanding and makes his kid feel better.
> 
> Hey, Look! I wrote another chapter! 
> 
> Also
> 
> There is vomiting in this one.

"Are you sure you want to here, Kid?" Tony asked after they had pulled up to the all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet that the teenager had begged him to take him to. He'd looked it up previously and found that it only had a handful of reviews and those were mixed. Everything from 'food was bland' to 'the best tamales I've ever eaten.' 

"I'm sure!" Peter replied with enthusiasm. "It's the only all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet!"

Tony has sighed as he'd turned the car off. "You know if this is about you wanting to overindulge in Mexican fair, I can buy you all you can eat from the really nice place right by the tower," he suggested, because money was no object and buffet wasn't really his style. He preferred to be served his own plate from a clean kitchen. There were very few exceptions to that rule and most of them were well known, highly rated, and didn't look like a hole in the wall with a neon sign above.

Peter had just smiled and unbuckled his seat belt in anticipation. "I know you could, Mr. Stark but I've been dying to try this place," he'd said not knowing that trying the place was definitely going to make them feel like they were dying. Not until they were fifteen minutes forty-five-minute ride back to the tower anyway.

"Hey, kid?" Tony asked, swallowing hard and wiping the sweat from his brow before he continued, "You feeling alright?"

Peter who had been leaning against the window hoping that his stomach ache was nothing more than one too many enchiladas turned his head slightly so that he could see that his mentor had paled significantly. He hoped that he too had eaten one too many enchiladas but that didn't seem likely. While he'd eaten his eight in everything the little buffet had to offer, Tony'd only had one plate. "I think I ate too much," he mumbled, cringing a little when his stomach gurgled unhappily.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that's the problem, Kiddo," Tony said, letting a small wet belch out into his fist. "Excuse me. I'm not- not feeling too hot."

"Me neither," Peter admitted, sitting up a little taller as the pressure he'd been feeling in his stomach suddenly settled a bit lower in his abdomen. "Are we almost home?"

"Thirty more minutes," Tony said, sounding a little miserable himself. Nausea aside, his intestines were in knots and he needed a bathroom, preferably before they got home. His concern was that Peter too needed a bathroom but would be unwilling to shit in just any gas station men's room. The problem was they weren't on their side of town and he had no idea which places had restrooms that the kid would use. "You need a bathroom?"

Peter shifted in his seat, biting his lip as a particularly painful cramp took hold of him and shook his head. "I wanna wait until we get home."

Tony nodded his head in understanding and pressed his foot down a little heavier onto the gas pedal. According to the GPS they still had twenty minutes to go and he wasn't sure he could make it that long, let alone the kid who had easily eaten three times as much as he had. He could hear the teenager whining quietly under his breath and could see the way he'd curled up into a ball in his seat. "I'm trying to get there, Buddy."

Only ten minutes passed before Tony could no longer focus on the road. He needed to shit and when the concentration it was taking for him to breathe through the cramps caused him to nearly run right through a busy intersection he gave in. "I'm sorry, Pete but I can't- I can't wait. I'm going to stop at this corner store and run inside. I'll be as quick as I can," he promised while throwing off his seatbelt and exiting the car with as much grace as a newborn giraffe. 

While sitting alone in the car, Peter squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed back the queasy feeling that was returning to his stomach. There was a fraction of a moment that he thought about running inside to use the toilet himself but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There were a lot of people walking in and out of the storefront, so he decided to wait for his mentor's return to feel out the situation.

After what felt like far too long, Tony finally climbed back into the car looking less frantic but still miserable. "Sorry about that," Tony mumbled but before he could get the car into gear he felt a hand reach out and grab his wrist.

"Is it a bathroom I can use?" Peter asked in a shaky voice.

"It's not a single unit if that's what you're asking. But if it's an emergency then this might be your best bet. I don't know where else to stop," Tony replied with remorse. Though he left out the part where he was very eager to get home because while his colon momentarily satisfied he was still shivery and uncomfortable, and desperately wanted to get into his own bed.

"I'll wait," Peter replied, a tear streaming down his cheek as he clenched his butt cheeks and hunkered down in his seat. And while he probably could have made it home without shitting he was soon overcome with nausea and was taking deep breaths in an attempt to quell it. 

"You okay, Pete," Tony asked with concern. "I can't promise that it'll be private but I can stop at the next gas station or whatever," he said, stealing a glance at the teenager who looked so tense it was making him feel tense. 

"I'm gonna puke," Peter said, followed by a small yet unproductive gag. "I'm sorry," he added, clapping a hand over his mouth as he felt the car swerve to the side of the road. Once he was sure they were parked he threw the door open, leaned over, and forcefully vomited into the grass while simultaneously trying not to shit himself in the process but he'd waited so long that when his stomach muscles clenched with the next heave he lost control. He could feel diarrhea filling his underwear and there was nothing he could do about it because he was still puking, though he did have enough sense to stumble out of the car between rounds.

Of course, Tony wasn't oblivious to what was happening. Even if the gassiness hadn't given the situation away the smell had and felt awful for the kid. Especially since they still had another ten minutes before they got back. Knowing he was the adult in the situation, he, got out of the car and stood beside where Peter half hunched over and leaning down on his knees as he took several measured breaths. "Hey, Bud, feeling any better?" he asked while actively trying to ignore the uneasy feeling that was starting in his own stomach. Though he didn't feel like he was in any danger of losing his dinner. Whatever that damn restaurant had given them was definitely hitting the kid much harder than himself.

Rather than answer, Peter stepped away from the man and went to turn around so that he couldn't see that he was crying but then he realized that if he did that Tony would see what he'd done. So he stared directly down at the ground and chewed on his lip in an attempt to hold back the tears. He just wasn't sure that there was a way to explain what had just happened and he couldn't possibly get back into the car and he's not even finished the deed... God, he still needed _to go_.

"Listen to me, Pete," Tony said softly. "I know, okay. I know what happened and that's fine. You couldn't help it. Your body just had some bad timing, that's all. Could have happened to anyone, really," he added because honestly, it could have. When it comes to being sick from both ends, even someone without a fear of pooping in a bathroom with other people could find themselves in a similar predicament. "This is not your fault and I'm not upset."

"I'm so sorry," Peter returned just bearly concealing the sob that came with it. He still felt terrible and no matter what Tony said, it was his fault he'd insisted on the restaurant. "I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have made us eat- eat there."

"Hey, it's fine, Kiddo," Tony assured. "I'm the grown-up. I could have said no but I didn't. Plus there was no way for us to know. They even had a decent score on their health report," he assured and then walked over to pull the kid into a loose hug. "What do you say we go home now, hmm? It's only ten more minutes. Then you can get cleaned up and we can both get comfortable."

"I can't get back in the car like this!" Peter shouted in horror before turning sheepish with bright red cheeks and crimson ears. "-and- and I'm not- _done._ I'm scared I'll- you know-"

Tony looked around them but there was nothing but a thin veil of trees between the highway and what looked like a few warehouses. "Kid. We'll be home in ten minutes and I'm not worried about the car. You are way more important than a car seat."

At the mere mention of the damage that he'd do to the seat, Peter blushed. While he still needed to poop his bladder was screaming as well and he wasn't sure how he'd managed to not piss himself as well. "I need to pee too," he admitted, shifting uncomfortably where he stood.

"Tony sighed and waved a hand towards the tree line. "Okay. Well, go ahead and do that I guess, and then let's get going. The quicker we get home the quicker we'll both feel better," he said and then watched the kid waddle towards the coverage before heading back to the car. 

When Peter got back to the car he gingerly sat down, a low whine escaping his lips as he did so. He was so uncomfortable on so many levels that he didn't even know where to begin. His ass was burning, his stomach was still doing backflips and he could feel the pressure in his intestines pressing on the exit. Tony had rolled down the windows in his absence and while he knew the reason for it, he was thankful for the cool air that blowing in his face as they made it back to the tower. 

"Let's go, kid. I gotta go and I know you do too," Tony strained once they had parked in the garage, already heading for the elevator before the kid even had time to get his door all the way open. 

Peter, who did need to go, got out making a concerted effort to not look at the stain on the soft cloth seat as he slammed his door shut. The elevator ride was long for both of them and the second they were in the penthouse they were both racings towards their respective bedrooms. Peter stripped himself of his clothing before dropping onto the toilet to finish what he'd started in his pants and then buried the clothing in the trashcan before making his way into the shower.

By the time he exited the bathroom, Tony was in his room flopped down across his bed, asleep. There was a trashcan on the floor and two glasses of ginger ale on the nightstand, one mostly empty and the other with a red and blue curly straw so that he would know it was his. He took a few tentative sips and then laid down beside his mentor, curling into his side. When he felt a hand reach around his back and start to rub it he smiled. 

"You feeling better now?" Tony asked, still feeling pretty bad himself.

"I feel cleaner," Peter said with a half-smile. "But my stomach still hurts."

"Mine too, Kiddo," Tony sighed out before sitting up with the intention of taking his drink back to his own room.

At first, Peter didn't think anything of the man getting up, assuming he was going to the bathroom but when he started to walk out of the room he sat up himself. "You can use my bathroom," he offered.

"Well thank you Buddy" Tony replied with a soft smile. "- but I was going to go lay down in my room."

"Oh," Peter replied before dropping back down onto his pillow and grumbled something along the lines of 'I guess that makes sense." 

"Do you want me to stay in here with you?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer. If the kid wasn't feeling good, he'd want company, and thankfully, after his last visit with the porcelain throne, he was already starting to feel a bit better. He'd never been happier to have not eaten his fill at a meal.

"Yeah," Peter simply replied and Tony settled back down beside him. From there, the pair lay quietly watching an old episode of Friends, and just before they both drifted off, Peter was bolting up and running back into the bathroom. It was going to be a long night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my weird-ass shit. (Shit... really?)


End file.
